Amanda Tokar’s apartment isn’t what most would call big or fancy. But the cozy one-bedroom is a gleaming mansion compared to the five-foot space she used to curl up in at night – the space inside a porta-john in a parking lot.

Most people can’t imagine getting to a place where they would spend a month living in a portable toilet, but mental illness and a series of events led Amanda to that fate. For years, she lived with anxiety and paranoia and had unstable relationships. Still, she was able to maintain different jobs and an apartment. That changed in 2019 when a dispute with neighbors caused her landlord to evict her. Without the time or funds to get another apartment, her car became her home.

For more than two years, she lived in her car, sleeping there when she wasn’t working. She was struggling, but she didn’t seek help because she believed she could manage on her own. Then her car – her home – was repossessed. As her car was taken away, she was left standing in the parking lot with only a blanket and whatever she could grab from her car. That’s when the porta-potty became her shelter. She would wander the streets during the day and return to sleep at night. But this wouldn’t last either – someone caught on, and the porta-john was padlocked. Her shelter was gone.

Fortunately, a member of Community Support Services’ homeless outreach team found Amanda, gave her a sleeping bag, supplies and a path to being housed. Eventually, CSS placed Amanda at a respite house and then found her an apartment through the Blue Heron program, a supportive housing program that provides intensive case management. The program also connects participants with service providers, substance use treatment options and doctors.

Unfortunately, Amanda experienced a setback when her mental health symptoms persisted and caused conflict with her neighbors. She needed to move again.
CSS found Amanda another apartment through Blue Heron, and it was there that things took a positive turn. Amanda began taking her medication consistently, and her mental health improved. She developed a sense of community and appreciates the good neighbors she has now.

“I love my apartment. It’s perfect for me, “she said. “I feel great. I’ve got all sorts of (decorations).”

Having a stable space of her own was just one thing that helped boost Amanda’s recovery. She also credits medication for helping her to finally gain focus. “The medication really calms you down. It helps you think clearly,” she said. With that focus, Amanda was able to get a part-time job as a cashier and recently bought a used car. She hopes to soon rekindle relationships with her three children, who are ages 9, 19 and 21.

Amanda has had a remarkable journey from where she was. Her case manager, Erin Metzger, says Amanda’s attitude was a big part of her success. Amanda “worked really hard throughout (her) journey and always contributed to what (she) had to do,” Metzger said.

Amanda is grateful she overcame her hesitancy to get help, especially medication, and accepted the support CSS’ doctors and her case managers have given her.

“In the end of it, it works out,” she said. “They know what they’re doing.”